ANOTHER Girl Punk Playlist Because I'm Going Through a Depressive Episode and Must Half Ass Everything (Saturday E Mix-tape)

There is a giant hunk of broken glass like three inches from my elbow on my kitchen table. This is NOT safe.

This past week I was a summer camp counselor, there was a lot of tie dye and yarn.

I'm going back next week, because of adult things, like college applications.

Anyways aside from the point, I am painfully tired, so take a half-assed riot grrrl playlist because I don't want to put effort into anything. Welcome to Born Annoying, next year you get two posts in total because I will have given up on being productive by then.This one, in the name of lazy journalism, contains both Hole and Bikini Kill, cry about it.

1.) New Radio - Bikini Kill
2.) Turpentine - Hole
3.) Firefly - Heavens To Betsy
4.) I Wanna Cut My Hair Like Marky Ramone - The Spazzys
5.) Coal Black - The Haves

Interview with Dylan from The Public

Wednesday, yes it was Wednesday (yes this is a Dead Milkmen reference) I woke up very late, far later than the agreed upon time to interview Dylan, from the band The Public. But as the e-mails the night prior proved, he is NOT a square, and no measly 45 minutes of extra sleep is going to deter him! He responded not soon after I posed my first question, and the answers were as follows.

Badly describe the music you make in a sentence: 
We make whimsical basement music about the lives we live and the stuff we do .

How did you meet your band mates?:
I was in English class with Harry (drummer) and he was real quiet , but I liked him. I've known Jack (guitarist) since we were real young, since he jammed his two index fingers into my eyes three stooges style in the 4th grade.

But they asked me to sing in their band for a school talent show in 7th grade, and I didn't really want to at first,  but we're still kicking it so something worked.

Who do you feel influences you most?  Or are you one of those "we play whatever the hell we want and it's new and different," sort of bands?:

No we have influences , but it's kind if whatever we're into at the moment. Everything we like finds its way into our music one way or another. Is say we're inspired the most by our local heroes like bruiser queen, pokey lafarge, and foxing.

yknow in the Karate Kid how the old guy teaches the kid karate? i don't know what they're called. but if you could have any musician be your old guy and mentor you on music, who would it be?:

Oh probably Kevin Parker.  Oh shit that'd be awesome. Or maybe Paul Simon. I think Paul Simon might be the best songwriter of all time. Or at least one of the best.

What song that you've created feels like it embodies your music and you guys as a band best?:

Ooooooh I like this question. I think our song Roll Over or Spaceman . Probably Spaceman,  just because it was real collaborative and really reflects our interests. That goes for both of them, but we haven't released roll over yet, and Spaceman on our first album

How To Annoy Your Relatives On A 6 Hour Drive 101 (Saturday E Mix-tape)

The posts for the next week or so are both scheduled, as I am now on vacation, or too stressed to write, so I planned in advance. I'm supposed to see The Dwarves and JFA at FUBAR ( i think) tonight, so I will tell you how that turned out when I get back from redneck hell.

My dad and I are going to make a Negativland "Christianity is Stupid, Communism is Good" T shirt that I am going to wear the entire week I am in Tennessee simply because I love embarrassing my family. I already embarrass them enough for looking funny, this will just be icing on the cake. I saw how it turned out last year in Branson. Green hair + nice Pentecostal ladies = Disaster.

The theme of this mix-tape is irregular, it is songs I am going to horrify my redneck family with when I get the aux cord(which I don't know why they allow at this point)... enjoy!

1.) Takin' Retards To The Zoo - The Dead Milkmen (Joe Jack Talcum has a voice that only his mother could love)
2.) You Can Own Your Own Home Without Even Breaking My Heart - Weird Paul Petroskey
3.) Birdhouse In Your Soul - They Might Be Giants
4.) Polka Party - Weird Al Yankovic 
5.) The Annoying Song - The Butthole Surfers (self explanatory) (I love reading people trying to decode Gibby's lyrics, I'm pretty sure most of it's gibberish)

Why Is Dolly Parton Everywhere?

Today is a bank holiday and I am packing to go on redneck family vacation to Gatlinburg, Tennessee. There will probably be way too many people, but this year is new, we normally go to Branson.

I thought this would be a wonderful time to talk about how much I love Dolly Parton.

You can see her influence on Courtney Love and the Kinder-whore style in general bleach blond hair, big red lips, I love a lot of people who would be generally uncharacteristic of me, being a punk.Mostly people like Madonna and Cyndi Lauper that I have an odd nostalgia attached to despite not growing up in their time of fame.

Punks aren't only allowed to like punk, I like tons of weird stuff I shouldn't like.My family mostly being good ol' southerners, I have heard a lot of country in the car while traveling. The men singing about their dogs and their trucks and their guns and their women, all of their voices sound the same. But I don't mind the women as much, sure they're just as repetitive talking about men cheating. But Dolly Parton is a regular donor to charities, and when the forest fires tore through Gatlinburg, she donated her money to other people who were affected as she wasn't. She also employs her relatives at her Dollywood park.

what an upstanding citizen.

Really, if you look at any woman in recent music history, she's probably been influenced by Dolly Parton, no matter who she is. Because Dolly is just that cool.

Scruff Rock (Saturday E Mix-Tape)

My dad is partially native american, so I don't think I have been around any amount of facial hair for an extended period of time, but when I was, it was when my dad forgot to shave his face that week with the electric razor we buzzed my hair off with. That is the only excess of scruff I have experienced, except for scruff rock. I've seen a lot of that in my day.
1.) Where The Hell Is Bill - Camper Van Beethoven (where IS Bill? he went to go see the Circle Jerks.)
2.) Dreaded Glaucoma Test - Weird Paul Petroskey  (My dad also got one of these when he was 17, and didn't have anyone drive him, so he drove home unable to open his eyes to the 6PM sun)
3.) Litter Box - Meat Puppets
4.) White House Girls - Ed Hall ("We can rub our peepee's on the suitcase handle/and when the president goes to pick it up/ he'll get our peepee on his CLEAN HANDS!")
5.) Born To Love Volcanoes - The Dead Milkmen (<3 volcanoes and PBS)

How To Be Punk (the totally not a poser guide)

You want to be a punk? You want to horrify mom and pop? Are you too comfortable at home with your friends and family, do you love all things loud, do you suck at art and can't go to art school? Are you a vile singer and dancer? If you answered yes to any of these questions: You are a perfect candidate to be a punk.

Phase 1: Stop Being a Preppy

First things first, if you're not a teenage boy, just stop reading here. Punk is only for young boys, if you're over 20 --- you're a yuppie, even if you have three dollars to your name, unless you're Ian MacKaye, in that case, you will always be honorarily too young to drink, so honorarily punk. Forget the 80's punks, they all turned into grandpa preppies, who cares if they still listen to the music, who cares if they're Henry Rollins, they dared to get old, and getting old is NOT PUNK. 

Secondly, throw away everything you own, pictures of your grandma aren't punk, your baby blanket is not punk, if your mom would find any value in it, it's not punk. Throw away everything sentimental, you have to eat sleep and breathe punk, there is no room for mom and pop in your new lifestyle. 

Third: ditch your old friends. You can't possibly be seen with preppies, you can't even be seen with other social outcasts, no nerds, no goths, no nothing. get new friends, friends who will look angsty with you while you sit in front of your local upscale shopping mall, or at the skate park. Maybe they'll even look mean with you at shows, as long as they stay away from the mosh pit, they can't mess up their hair. The list of social groups you can be friends with is as follows: punks.

Phase 2: The Look

Only posers become cultured in the music before they start looking the part, to like the music and to go to the shows you have to look like one of them. Conform to them so you can all be nonconformists!

Your hair: You aren't allowed to have your hair below your chin, it's a rule. And if it's not dyed you might as well not even be punk. Cut it yourself with kitchen scissors or else you're a poser, or dog clippers like Ian MacKaye if you want it short. But not skinhead short, because it's NOT just a phony division by the underground press, even if they're not hammerskins or fascist, even if they just really like ska, you don't talk to skinheads, only posers like skinheads.

Your clothes: Exclusively shop at Urban Outfitters, the posers say it's for yuppies, what do they know? They shop at thrift stores and have to see meth head mothers and their too skinny alien babies. You buy that 30$ Sex Pistols t shirt. You can only wear skinny jeans. And you need a really cool vest or jacket, and you'll see people talking about making their own, but that's for poor people, you should just buy your own on etsy with daddy's cash.

Your room: Be really dirty, like clinical depression dirty.

Phase 3: The Music

Just listen to Rodney On The Roq or whatever, not like Rodney Bingenheimer ruined literally everyone's life. The list of bands you're allowed to listen to be are as follows, if you don't listen to these bands and these bands only, you're a poser:
The Ramones
The Clash
The Sex Pistols

Ignore everything made after 1980, those guys are posers.

Phase 3: Attitude

Just be a total jerk to everyone, even your friends. 

I've Only Seen The Ocean Three Times (Saturday Mix-Tape)

Living 600 miles away from any ocean, and that coast being the worst for surfing, the closest I can get is the edgy teenage boys who used to skate at the pavilion at the park, which I guess is sidewalk surfing. Or that store at the South County Mall that sells "gone surfing" signs and salt lamps. But since it's getting unbearably warm, like heat stroke warm, I can dream of coastal weather moderation.

1.) Sitting By a Window - The Pebbles
2.) Hang Ten In East Berlin - D.I. ( skate punk musically, but hang ten)
3.) Surfin' Cow - The Dead Milkmen ( his baby looks like Patti Smith! )
4.) Police Truck - Dead Kennedys ( politics and East Bay Ray, heck yes )
5.) Don't Cry - Los Olvidados ( a little more skate punk, but it's my specialty because again I live in the midwest.)